Post by USPReagan on Apr 23, 2008 5:49:56 GMT -5
Alright, I'll sacrifice my dignity. No one actually witnessed this, but it's still embarrassing.
I was over at my brothers (Jackson) house one day, his wife was at work, and we decided to grill out. He has some pork chops, we fire up the propane grill and throw them on. Wouldn't you know it, sky turns dark as fuck. Here we are, trying to cook prok chops on the grill in the middle of a thunderstorm. We're trying to flip the chops, it's hailing like a mofo, and dumping the rain.
Finally we say screw it and pull them off the grill. Well, we're eating them, and the whole time I'm like "dude, I don't think these are done all the way. They're still a little pink in the middle". He disagrees, we're hungry, we eat them anyway.
About 3 hours later I have to leave to get ready for work. I lived about 10 minutes from his house. Now, before I left, my stomach started cramping and I thought it was just because I had to drop a deuce. I get to the end of his road, turn onto the highway, and the worst stomach cramps you could imagine hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm sweating, have cold chills, and praying to every deity there is that I don't shit all down my leg.
Guess what, I shit all down my leg. My stomach cramped, and there was seriously, and I mean that literally, there was NOTHING I could have done. Didn't even have time to pull over. So here I am, driving down the road, shitting myself. And I still have about 10 more miles to drive.
I drive all the way home, stewing in my own shit, when I pull in the driveway. Wouldn't you know it, the talkative neighbor comes outside and decides NOW is a good time to talk. I'm thinking "can it get any better? Can it?". So I dodge him, do a funky ass walk into the house so it doesn't run out my shorts and down the back of my leg, and go clean up.
Not sure if the neighbor ever knew or not, but he HAD to know SOMETHING was wrong by the way I talked and walked. Lol.
I was over at my brothers (Jackson) house one day, his wife was at work, and we decided to grill out. He has some pork chops, we fire up the propane grill and throw them on. Wouldn't you know it, sky turns dark as fuck. Here we are, trying to cook prok chops on the grill in the middle of a thunderstorm. We're trying to flip the chops, it's hailing like a mofo, and dumping the rain.
Finally we say screw it and pull them off the grill. Well, we're eating them, and the whole time I'm like "dude, I don't think these are done all the way. They're still a little pink in the middle". He disagrees, we're hungry, we eat them anyway.
About 3 hours later I have to leave to get ready for work. I lived about 10 minutes from his house. Now, before I left, my stomach started cramping and I thought it was just because I had to drop a deuce. I get to the end of his road, turn onto the highway, and the worst stomach cramps you could imagine hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm sweating, have cold chills, and praying to every deity there is that I don't shit all down my leg.
Guess what, I shit all down my leg. My stomach cramped, and there was seriously, and I mean that literally, there was NOTHING I could have done. Didn't even have time to pull over. So here I am, driving down the road, shitting myself. And I still have about 10 more miles to drive.
I drive all the way home, stewing in my own shit, when I pull in the driveway. Wouldn't you know it, the talkative neighbor comes outside and decides NOW is a good time to talk. I'm thinking "can it get any better? Can it?". So I dodge him, do a funky ass walk into the house so it doesn't run out my shorts and down the back of my leg, and go clean up.
Not sure if the neighbor ever knew or not, but he HAD to know SOMETHING was wrong by the way I talked and walked. Lol.